April Fools

Dwindling visitor numbers signaled “an urgent need for measured controversy, neither too inflammatory nor too trite,” the museum said.

A new survey suggests that exhibition catalogs and other art books are more likely to be used to protect coffee tables than actually read by anyone.

The missive calls on members of the culture sector to “not share widely,” pleading, “Don’t you dare sign!”

“Now I have nothing to complain about at my next cocktail party,” lamented one woman after failing to witness a climate protest at The Met.

The company whose submersible infamously imploded last June will ferry artists 13,000 feet below sea level in a newly built vessel called Titan II.

Art dealer Gloria McWhitey said she couldn’t believe minority groups were still disenfranchised, “even after all that money we spent on our Basel booth.”

The cave drawings predate the advent of social media by approximately 17,000 years.

In a bold move to diversify its revenue streams, the museum announced upcoming projection campaigns with Bounty, Ikea, and Wells Fargo.

“Biceps and a spirit level indicate a more satisfying lay than a turtleneck and an unwarranted lecture about 18th-century lace production,” said one of the researchers.

Hyperallergic swiped through the Beta version of ArtAI, encountering the likes of Pablo Picasso, Gertrude Stein, and Vincent Van Gogh.